To start our lives anew;
This time we’ll leap old barriers
To have a real breakthrough.
And then we’ll take one more,
Our unlimited potential
We’ll totally explore.
Everyone will be inspired;
(Hmm…while I’m writing this,
I’m getting very tired.)
We’ll read and learn a lot,
All our goals will be accomplished,
Sigh...or maybe not.
Its a mistake ive made that i'll never forgive my self, new year is here and i am really hoping to start everything a new.... ive made a mistake to my brownie and i've ask for forgiveness but up till now, i feel so different... i dun feel the same as how u treated me last time. you may have lost ur trust in me, u may found someone new... but u wud be still the same brownie that i once knew.
It will be a great loss for me if i were to lose u, is like a body without a soul... but for the sake of love, i shall respect the decision you have make if you have.
i find it useless crying every single night... but i just cant help it. everytime i look at the pic of us having fun for the past 2 weeks, i cant help it but to cry. Was hoping to celebrate the new year with you but it seems you have made ur plan and i shall respect it.
Everynight is a sleepless night, doing tonnes of reflection... shed gallons of tears... killing more brain cell as i think back on the mistakes that ive done to you.
I really love you bie, if i had one wish, i wud turn back in time to stop this. its killing me.
wish u a great new year dear.
anyway went to check up on the 29 of decemember and the result was bad. but who cares anyway if i were to die soon? im willing to sacrifies my 8 years spending time with brownie instead of alone... but i dun think god will grant me tat wish since things happen. but haiz... i will still live it up to the fullest... Doctor says im having a lung infection and years go by, i may have others organ failure till the day i die as my blood disorderness continue. like i say, who wud cares? My dad who hates me? My sister who supports my dad? my mum who only thinks of drugs? i dunno... i dun even knw if anyone out there stil care for me.... i dunno....
anyway as im posting this blog post i sheding more tears... dah bengkak pon mater... so i gtg..
signing off
AyiE
