It has been a worst week of my life... everything happen so fast and harsh... i cant really take the presure... its no wonder the thought of suicide is ALWAYS in my mind. First and foremost i just lost a coy mate who have been showing his care and concern to me when i was on light duty, never failed to let me smile, a very joyful guy. but on 15 of may 2008, he left us without saying goodbye, tears actually drip down my face upon hearing the news but i have no choice but to hide it from my squadmate. to Allahyarham Roslan bin saharo, i promise you that we wont forget u.... ur name and ur kindness have been engraved in our hearts.

After hearing the news, i receive another news that my adk angkat patch up with the bitch who still owes me my $50 and yet to return. feeling sad and then pissed off...

then on friday night, Kid confess that he is attached to chucky. the guy who i hated the most, the guy who have cheated my feelings... no wonder he is nt into me for he have fallen for my adk kid... upon hearing the news... am like one chipmunk who have lost all the nuts that have been saving for winter hybernation period... so pissed off that i actuall slam my F700 phone hard on the table!....

i sooo hate my life seriously... and now my back hurts alot! i cant really walk! i prevent my self from getting MC cause my OC wanted to send me for recourse... and NO i dun want... am actually pretty worried cause i cannot take PDT.... for the fact tat i am soo into marshall arts, but am light duty so they dun allow me to participate EVEN if i insist.

i seriously wanted to do my best in SPF but suddenly all my sickness is back, hyperventilate la, rashes la adominal cramp la.... and now suspect of livercancer... wat the hell... i did told my OC abt it but it seems that she doesnt care and she think tat i'm like chao keng (ayam sakit). its not like as if i want this to happen... but overall my oc is good la.. very motherly....

anyway i gotta go now.. my back is like killing me.. cant really seat on the chair for so long... cant really stand and walk.... so troublesome rite.... i wud rather seat on a wheelchair siark.. gtg..

signing off
AyiE....

A POLICE trainee died yesterday,
two days after he collapsed during
an Individual Physical Proficiency
Test (IPPT) at the Home Team
Academy.
Trainee Special Constable (TSC)
Roslan Bin Saharo, 19, was among a
group of 120 of trainees who reported
for their IPPT at 6am on Tuesday,
the police said in a statement yesterday.
He stumbled and fell shortly
after he started the 2.4km run at
7.30am. He was given prompt medical
attention and was taken by ambulance
to the National University
Hospital, but he died yesterday.
The Jurong Police Division is investigating
TSC Roslan’s death.
Commander, Training Command,
Deputy Assistant Commissioner
Loy Chye Meng, expressed
his condolences to the family.
“I am saddened by the loss of
such a young officer. Our hearts go out
to the bereaved. The police will render
support and assistance in every
way to TSC Roslan’s family,” he said.
In December 2005, Army Lance
Corporal Ho Wah Yeng, 35, died
shortly after he completed his remedial
fitness training programme
in Maju Camp. The programme is
for operationally-ready National Servicemen
who have failed their IPPT.
In 2003, Inspector Ronnie See,
a 40-year-old Central Narcotics Bureau
officer, died after the 2.4km
run of the IPPT. Earlier that year,
Recruit Andrew Chew Heng Huat,
20, a full-time National Servicemen,
died in Pulau Tekong during the
2.4km run.

"At times, doing something that may seem or sound not right is okay, but only for good intensions. Such as, telling white lies to someone but for his own good. 'Hypocrisy on grounds of goodwill is acceptable by god'. Why? Because, unlike human, he can see everything and read everyone's minds and actions. Often,mankind judge thru what we see on the surface only. So whatever kindness you do, its okay if some may doubt you. believe that you have a believer, Believe in god, believe in allah swt."

Ryan....

OK, labourday, was bored and am also having fever! wont be booking in camp.... i really didnt expect to spend my labour day alone at home! haix... niway instead of wasting time, i decided to design a logo for my squad! hahaz... actually we are making our squad shirt... soo... yea, i decide to design the logo and the img to be print at the back of the shirt... wat do u guys think? nt nice rite?


Squad 8 Logo....

The back pic for the shirt....

signing off
AyiE