Another year, another chance To start our lives anew; This time we’ll leap old barriers To have a real breakthrough.
We’ll take one little step And then we’ll take one more, Our unlimited potential We’ll totally explore.
We’ll show off all our talents Everyone will be inspired; (Hmm…while I’m writing this, I’m getting very tired.)
We’ll give up all bad habits; We’ll read and learn a lot, All our goals will be accomplished, Sigh...or maybe not.
Its a mistake ive made that i'll never forgive my self, new year is here and i am really hoping to start everything a new.... ive made a mistake to my brownie and i've ask for forgiveness but up till now, i feel so different... i dun feel the same as how u treated me last time. you may have lost ur trust in me, u may found someone new... but u wud be still the same brownie that i once knew.
It will be a great loss for me if i were to lose u, is like a body without a soul... but for the sake of love, i shall respect the decision you have make if you have.
i find it useless crying every single night... but i just cant help it. everytime i look at the pic of us having fun for the past 2 weeks, i cant help it but to cry. Was hoping to celebrate the new year with you but it seems you have made ur plan and i shall respect it.
Everynight is a sleepless night, doing tonnes of reflection... shed gallons of tears... killing more brain cell as i think back on the mistakes that ive done to you.
I really love you bie, if i had one wish, i wud turn back in time to stop this. its killing me.
wish u a great new year dear.
anyway went to check up on the 29 of decemember and the result was bad. but who cares anyway if i were to die soon? im willing to sacrifies my 8 years spending time with brownie instead of alone... but i dun think god will grant me tat wish since things happen. but haiz... i will still live it up to the fullest... Doctor says im having a lung infection and years go by, i may have others organ failure till the day i die as my blood disorderness continue. like i say, who wud cares? My dad who hates me? My sister who supports my dad? my mum who only thinks of drugs? i dunno... i dun even knw if anyone out there stil care for me.... i dunno....
anyway as im posting this blog post i sheding more tears... dah bengkak pon mater... so i gtg..
Yesterday was an enjoyable yet memorable day for me and brownie.. hehe.. gawd everyday is a new day and exciting day.... making me feel very anxious the moment i open my eye from my beauty sleep.... My lil brownie is still not feeling well and im rather worried for him... brought him to TTSH yesterday and the doc says he have a throat infection and gave him loads of medication... ah amik ko obat... lol... and after tat went to makan at marina food loaf...
and u knw what.. nvr in my life i appreciated a guy sooo much like my lil brownie and there will be no way that im gonna take advantage of him... for he have help me alot... i can say tat he is a true guy tat ive been searching all this while.... cause he met all the requirement tat i have in guy.. lol... only thing is tat his puntuality... i can tell u... haiz hancur! ello bie.. i waited for u like 1hour 15min yesterday can? hahaz... but understand... org sakit kan... so tak leh di salah kan...
saturday going out again with brownie! weee.... and god knws where were heading to... always impromtu plan... lol....
k la... i guess i gtg.... to my readers... i knw i sound mushy on every sentence on my blog.. but i cant help it.... im deeply in love with my brownie
and as for my brownie..... ur sweet so pls take care of ur self and get well soon bie...
yay.... i have fullfill my new year resolution even before new year it self... which is to settle down of course... since im attached... there are a few promises i have to make to my self..... first and for most... i gotta die down on clubbing UNLESS my hubby is with me... cause urgh... there's still some guy asking my no. la and also flirting with me... and i feel rather guilty if i were to follow the flow... and knowing im attached... so yea.. gotta die down on clubbing.... also gotta stop logging in to my guys for men acct. cause i see no point of me logging in there since i gt my brownie... and oh ya... no more IRC for me... my funtime is over! weee~...
u knw wat bie... im happy with all the things i have now and with u around... im always feel secure and also feel beloved.... though u gotta improve on ur puntuality!! ahahaz...
and yea... ur going for ur ops on january... so please take care of ur self k...
There's not a word tat can describe my love for u.... oh gawd.... im so thanking him for making me knowing u... muackx.. luv u dear..
Oh gawd... my lil brownie make his effort to meet me after his work! im so touch... he sooo sweet la.... but kecian dier.... penat.... and damn he look damn hot la in his Uniform... hehee... also mommy gabby'o is there.... mak ayam nyah.... slalu ader kan kalau anak ikan ader... wakakaka...
gawd my lil brownie so cute.... i can count my self as the luckiest person living on earth to have him by my side...
Gawd... been going out with my lil brownie since FRIDAY! and damn im enjoying every moment of it especially with Mommy gabby'o and zul t.m is around! well lets recall wat we did on friday... december 12.... hmmm oh ya... went to mustaffa center cause brownie need to look for his victoria secret body mist... lol... sampai ke mustaffa center kepe.... and as usual... he was late... well at least not 2 hours late! this time is only 45minutes!... lol... zul have to wait for him 30minutes.... Syg.. syg... ini lah org kater.... janji melayu... LOL.....
anyway after that... we headed to Bugis... and damn i was starving.... once reaching... we waited for rykle... but ended up... Mazlan came first.... (didnt expect him to show up) so we headed to the chicken rice stall to eat!
HEAVEN fell right on earth... finally get to eat.... so while eating... rykle arrived and my lil brownie go and fetch him at the MRT station.... after eating... we headed to Haji lane for our shissha session... and on the way... we waited for tini near raffles hospital...
and so we had our shisha session and gabby'o arrive at 1am.... and we had another shisha and ate some turkish food... LOL...
anyway we lepak till 3am and headed out to city hall to catch our night rider... and then home sweet home......
Well the next following day.... went outing with my lil brownie again... and then headed to club.... and yerp we are officially together! Weeee..... anyway by now... im already feeling lethargic... and yes am getting some sleep.... hehe... will update soon....
AFter 3years of single.... gawd i guess he have answered my prayer... he have given me once again the opportunity to love and be loved.... i finally found someone who i think im settling down with.... Though the guy im with is flirtatious.... but slowly i have to gain trust in him.... isnt that wat relationship is all about.... trusting each other.... and also being sincere, loyal and commitment must be presence in relationship... anyway the guy im with is Arief.... my cute lil brownie... sooner or later this blog will be made private to prevent any controversy.... anyway here is my lil devilicangel.... Gawd i love him...
Yesterday was the most memorable and fun night i have... and i would really love to thank Gabby'O from the btm of my heart.... he who have spend his precious off day with me for more then 12 freaking hours la! tats the most wonderful thing tat ANY of my friends have done! Well.. we went out at 5pm... and then we headed home at 6AM! wow im telling u... i had a fucking great time! PUAS dok! Hilang semuer stress aku....Well we went jln2 from raffles city to marina square.. then off to BUGIS... looking for my boots.... hahaz.. and then impromtu plan... went to Haji lane and have shissha session la sey... gawd i got high while having the mix fruit mint shissha... lol.... how i wish arief was there.... i bet things will get erm... OUT OF CONTROL... lol.... we had 2 shissha.. one is the strawberry mint and the second was the Mix fruit mint..... also order potato wedge and dunno god knows what i drink.. it taste like hollic though... anyway we lepak at tat area till 2am and we decided to walk down to orchard road la.... trying to see the NIGHT life in singapore... and gawd i tell u... ITS boring la.... after awhile we got hungry again and we headed down to the coffee club at somerset.. which open 24hrs.... hahaz... order red wine and some food.... erm.... wait wat did i order eh... i forgot.... but all of this is with the courtesy of Gabby'O... my mommy... LOL... we stayed there till 4am and decided to move on towards dhoby ghaut.... our plan is to waste our time while waiting for the first train by lepaking at the fort canning... then we decided to go to istana park instead... and play with the pond... hahaz... very refreshing...lol... we chatted and share some of our problems.... and some of our experience.. erherm if u knw what i mean... LOL.... yea... and then we took the first train at 6.07am towards Jurong East... Gabby'o alight at toa payoh while i continue my journey towards Yew tee.... here are some of the pic.... we took... hehe
And oh ya! im suppose to meet my officer SSSGT Pek today at 10... but due to the outing yesterday.. i was soooooo lethargic and slep all the way till like wat 10? haha.. was panic at the moment so msg my lil brownie telling him im soooo late... and then i msg my sir.. lol....my sir say meet him after lunch at 2.. then ok lor.. carry on sleeping.... till 1... KELANGKABUT mandi and siap2..... at last i met him at 3pm la..... and this is wat he gave me..... My dischargement letter and most important thing is my IC la sey!!! WOOOOT.. i got back my ic... anyway i was hoping my lil brownie to meet with me soon.. cause i missed him too much.. and i think im thinking too much abt it.... "RELAX AYIE... RELAX...."
Okok.. i knw.. its been a long time since i last blog..... hmmm.. melacca trip was postpone till next week i guess due to the celebration of Aidil Adha... Well... Before i begin posting... wud like to wish all the muslim Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Adha...
Anyway Hari Raya have always been a boring occasion for me.... i think i have to accept the fact that im growing OLDER... urgh.. tell me abt it... anyway took some pic yesterday... not many but a few... hahaz... well basically its either pic of me... me and my sis or me sis, mom and step dad.. hehe.... Yea tats me now! ugly i knw! hahaz.... Me and my family.. My step dad, Mum, Sis and me... The siblers.. lol.. And a candid shot taken at Jurong East Interchange.. hahaz.... Anyway after visiting my mum hse.. decided to lepak with my friends... gosh waited for arief for bloody 2 hours la..... lucky gabby came earlier.... so went around vivo... hahaz... anyway seriously im lazy to type wat happen or where we went la... hahaz... sry u cant blame my laziness.. haha...
anyway... FABULOUS high school.. oh yea i will be there!!! Guess WAT IM GONNA WEAR! u wont believe it! wanna knw? COME AND JOIN ME! hahaaz...
Im a gay activist and today post actually have been inspired by "http://arr-thegummybear.blogspot.com/".....
Nowadays, some people just do not understand the meaning of a true friend... or shall i say... do not understand the meaning of Friendship. here is the defination of "friend" for those of you who are dumb enough who do not knw the meaning of "friend" and it is adapted from OXFORD UNIVERSITY DICTIONARY.
friend
(frěnd)
A person whom one knows, likes, accept, understand and trusts each other no matter who they are.
A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement: friends of the clean air movement.
Friend A member of the Society of Friends; a Quaker.
Take a look at no. 1 and 4 (bold) Friend is a person who knows, likes and wat important is ACCEPT each other no matter who they are, cause friends will always be the main source and the only person who shall be by your side when you are having problems. If one cant accept another for who they are... then simply they are not friends...
after reading the above mentioned blog (http://arr-thegummybear.blogspot.com)... it clearly state that this particular hetero do not understand the meaning of friendship... i mean, so what if his friend is gay? there is no particular reason on why "he" must post such things... to promote hatred?? take a look at this sentence adapt/quote from his blog.... "I ACCEPT WHO YOU ARE! I TOLD YOU! I ACCEPT WHO YOU ARE!" hahahaaz... from your point of view (my reader) do you actually think tat this guy accept who his friend is? if he does, he shouldnt even post tat blog and bring down his friend reputation.... and by doing this... he who post such blog also can consider GAY... hahaz... phatetic but true...
another quote "SYAFIQ IS A BLOODY STUPID GAY! uh, go uh cry.. cryy loud loud! panggil aku tak berhati perot! CALL ME THAT AND I KILL YOU!!" how gay can someone be by insulting other party over blog? that is true gay enough... to much attention seeking bitch.... hahaz... instead of feeling sad, i feel stupid for reading such post.... oh well.. i do laught it out loud... but i pity the person who have been insulted....
seriously... if there is alot of people living in this world behaving like tat, i shall see no love exist in this world. and yes, u! (http://arr-thegummybear.blogspot.com/) wanna talk abt religion and family matters? do u even have the right to talk about it? ask your self... are you the god that create this world? do u knw how much sins does feeq carries? are u the one who decided if he were to go to Neraka jahanam or Syurga? the answer to it is simply NO! and also... are you the one who carry him for 9mths? are you the one who support him financially giving him food and breast milk when he is young? are you the one who bought all his clothing? are you... again the answer is NO.... so do you have the right to judge people on who they are.. again NO... do you have the right to talk abt other people religion and family matter again... the answer is NO!... get it?
Now.... (http://www.arr-thegummybear.blogspot.com) i personally challenge you to read this following article if you are really care and concern over your friend.... read ESPECIALLY no. 9 to 13! and if you have notice khai... there's not even one vulgarities in this blog post... MULUT KITE ORG TAK KOTOR MCM MULUT KAU......and also please khai... stop being homophobic or homophobia... its because of this "Gay sons and daughter are faced with rejection and dogmatism at home or outside and it's no wonder that they would distance themselves from their families and friends.... it's your lossm fight homophobia today khai...
Homosexuality is the tendency wherein the persons you find sexually attractive happen to be persons of the same sex as yourself.
Bear in mind however, that a homosexual person does not find all others of the same sex attractive. Only a few. After all, a heterosexual person does not find all opposite sex persons attractive either. But a homosexual person finds that all the people he is ever attracted to, happen to be of the same sex, just as a heterosexual person finds that all the people he is ever attracted to, happen to be of the opposite sex.
Sexual attraction goes hand in hand with a desire for a relationship and love. Homosexual persons yearn for love and a relationship with persons they are attracted to. Other than the fact that the persons they are attracted to happen to be of the same sex, the qualities in their relationships are no different than in heterosexual relationships, e.g. emotional commitment, mutual support and a desire for permanence. This can be seen from the strong desire in many countries to have laws changed to recognise same-sex marriages.
This question is a misguided question. When we use the word "think", we imply that it is not true, and that someone is misleading himself. Homosexual persons do not "think" they are homosexual. They know they are homosexual.
They know this because they can recognise their own feelings. They do not feel sexually attracted to people of the opposite sex. Every time they have a crush, it's with a person of the same sex. They do not experience similar feelings for persons of the opposite sex.
Related to this question is another, "Why do some people choose to be homosexual?"
This question is even more misguided. No homosexual person ever chooses to be homosexual. He simply discovers from his own feelings that he is. He has never made that "choice" in life, and as we will discuss below, he cannot "unchoose" it.
It is now widely accepted by scientific, psychiatric and medical professionals that homosexual orientation is innate, and fundamental to a some persons' nature. It is increasingly accepted that homosexual orientation is latent in the child, and possibly even in the foetus. It is not something that people change into during their teenage or adult years as a result of certain "bad influences". Certainly it is never something that people deliberately or consciously choose to become.
It is also widely accepted by thinking people that homosexuality is normal variation among humans. Just as some people are by nature left-handed, others are musically talented or extrovert, so some people are homosexual.
The main answer right now is that we don't know the precise reasons, though it is a field of study that is receiving more and more unbiased attention. Studies conducted so far point increasingly to a substantial biological basis for homosexuality, but environmental influences in early childhood may be a factor too (not the sole cause).
(a) Genetic causes?
There is increasing evidence that it may be partly genetic. For example, it is found that when one son is gay, his brothers have a higher chance of being homosexual too. A homosexual identical twin (who shares the same genes with his twin) has the highest likelihood of having a homosexual brother.
Other articles in Yawning Bread provide more information on recent scientific discoveries. Use the search function to locate them.
(b) Other biological causes?
There is also increasing evidence of hormonal factors acting on the foetus. There is some tentative evidence that the brain structure in homosexual persons is different from heterosexual persons, and that this difference in brain structure arose from brain development in foetal life.
The most likely cause for differences in brain development is that of hormonal balance while in the womb. There is evidence that this hormonal balance of the foetus would have been affected by the hormonal balance of the pregnant mother.
Other articles in Yawning Bread provide more information on recent scientific discoveries. Use the search function to locate them.
(c) Upbringing?
On the other hand, evidence for upbringing as a factor is non-existent, despite a century of searching by people attached to this idea. The first problem is that "upbringing" is a very vague and general term. When I press my questioners to be more specific, they tend to bring up two old ideas which I will deal with below:
(d) Distant father, domineering mother?
This is an old idea that has no credible research supporting it. It is conjecture that comes from the idea that homosexual males are somehow feminised by an overdominant mother, while the father as the male role model is absent.
The problem with this conjecture is that it assumes that homosexual males are feminised. This is contradicted by the simple observation that the vast majority of homosexual males are as masculine as heterosexual males.
People who have made a serious study of homosexuality generally consider this notion to be without basis.
(e) Being molested when young?
This is another old idea without any credible data.
It comes from the mistaken assumption that people are innately heterosexual, but are "converted" to homosexuality through bad experiences, or through exposure to other homosexual persons during their formative years.
It is contradicted by the increasing evidence of a biological basis for homosexuality.
It is also contradicted by the fact that the vast majority of homosexual persons do not have any experiences of being molested, just like the vast majority of heterosexual persons.
Of the unfortunate few who have been molested by others of the same sex, some have turned out to be homosexual, while others have turned out to be heterosexual. Of those who have been molested by people of the opposite sex, some have turned out to be homosexual too, but others heterosexual. No observable pattern has ever been shown.
(f) Mixing around with other homosexual people?
A person does not become homosexual because he has homosexual friends. Likewise, a homosexual person will not turn heterosexual even when he mixes with heterosexual persons. Sexual orientation, either way, is pretty much fixed in any particular person.
Even children and teenagers do not turn homosexual just because they mix with homosexual adults. After all, the great majority of adults that children mix with are heterosexual. Is it logical that just because they get to know one, or even more than one, adult who is homosexual, it will forever change the child's future sexuality?
Again, a misguided question. No one "becomes" homosexual. Most homosexual persons report that they discover they are homosexual sometime during their teenage years. A smaller number report that they have known they were different from their peers since around 9 or 10, though at that age, they couldn't fully comprehend or put a name to that difference.
On the other hand, there are homosexual persons who repress their homosexuality for years. Mostly it is due to social pressure to conform, and to the lack of information in the society in which they live. They may get married and have children. But then at some point in their lives, they realise that they have never really felt anything for the opposite sex, while their feelings for the same sex never goes away. At that point in their lives, they finally recognise their own homosexuality.
To outsiders it would look like he suddenly "turned" homosexual. In fact, he has always been homosexual, only that he has denied it all this while.
Many homosexuals, wanting to escape social pressure, have tried. There has been no properly documented case of anyone succeeding.
Yes, there are documented cases of people who have psyched themselves into denial (almost always, these examples have come from the fundamentalist Christian groups), but there is no documented case of a person changing his feelings of attraction. Mental health professionals today consider these attempts (often called 'reparative therapy') by cult-like groups to change orientation to be abuse and warn of damage to the mental health of participants.
Sexual orientation is too fundamental in our nature to be changed. You cannot change homosexuals into heterosexuals. Nor vice versa.
But a few homosexual persons can benefit from counselling and professional help. These are the ones who, feeling the burden of societal pressure, get very depressed, and maybe even reach the point of suicide. Professionals can help them see their situation in a more positive light, and improve their self-esteem.
However, the vast majority of homosexual persons do not need professional help. They are well-adjusted, self-confident people. Psychologically, they cope quite well despite prejudice and discrimination from society.
Why do you want to persuade him to mix more with the opposite sex? Are you hoping that he will turn heterosexual? As I said above, sexual orientation can't be changed.
By trying to "persuade" homosexual persons to do this or do that, you are showing disrespect to a person's right to choose his friends freely. How would you like to have others pressure you to do things that don't interest you? You'd see that as an unwarranted imposition.
The reason society often has this stereotype is because most homosexual men and women are indistinguishable from heterosexual persons. Only the tiny minority who happen to be effeminate or tomboyish, are visible. So society has taken the visible tip of the iceberg and wrongly extended the stereotype to all.
By the way, some effeminate men are heterosexual. Some tomboyish women are heterosexual.
In any case, what is wrong with having feminine or masculine mannerisms? In themselves, there is nothing wrong, is there? What may be the problem is the disapproval of other (unenlightened) people around. But the problem should be fixed at source, which is to enlighten those people rather than infringe on the self-autonomy of gays and lesbians with feminine/masculine mannerisms and outlook.
People who wish to go for sex change are transsexuals, not homosexuals. Transsexuals identify with a gender that is opposite to their bodies. For example, someone could be anatomically male, but feel very much a woman inside. Quite often transsexuals prefer to cross-dress, in keeping with the image they have of themselves.
Homosexual males consider themselves male, the same way as heterosexual males. They do not feel female at all. Homosexual females (i.e. lesbians), likewise consider themselves female. There is no conflict between their anatomical self and their sense of gender.
Generally, homosexual persons wish to ensure that those who are important to them have a clear and truthful idea of who they are. It may take them a long time and a lot of worrying to reach this point. But ultimately, they find that their sense of self-respect is such that they do not wish to live a lie any further.
For a homosexual person to tell others about his sexual orientation is a huge risk. He risks rejection and emotional chaos. If he has chosen to tell you, it is a sign that you are important to him. It is a long-standing truism that we are honest with those we love. You should feel honoured by his choice and you should feel a sense of responsibility to stand by him.
The truth does not make him or her any less your son, daughter, brother, sister or friend. He is still the same person as before, except that now he has given you a special gift, the gift of privileged honesty.
When he has reached this point, far from feeling guilt or shame, which is what society tends to put into homosexual persons, he has overcome it, and restored his self-respect. He has seen his own value as a person; he no longer subjugates himself to the ignorance and prejudice around him. That act of telling you is an act of liberation.
There are a few first-hand coming-out stories in Yawning Bread. Use the search function to locate them.
Make an effort to understand what it means to be homosexual. Do a bit of clear thinking and examine any pre-conceived notions you may have. Do not be judgmental. You yourself would not want others to be judgmental around you. Continue to see him as a person, a person you've long known.
Find some way to indicate that you are broadminded. Find some way to reassure him that the question of rejection does not arise. If it is true that it may take a while for you to get used to the idea, say so, be honest yourself. But if you believe that your love and capacity for friendship is deep enough to take the news in stride, then say that too, and work at it.
The worst thing you can do is to issue ultimatums. You should never demand that he change, or repent. You should never make your love and friendship conditional upon others living their lives in accordance with your demands.
To demand that he change is asking for the impossible. He can never comply. He will simply feel cut off from you. You risk driving him to despair and suicide.
The second worst thing you can do is to say "I cannot accept it". This response is not constructive. It builds brick walls against understanding and communication. He is not asking you for permission or acceptance. He is telling you the truth about himself. Imagine that you're a 43-year-old woman. When an occasion calls for it, you tell your friend, truthfully, "I am a 43-year-old woman." But the response you get is "I cannot accept it. You must change!" Wouldn't you consider that a moronic and unhelpful answer?
Firstly, there is no choice involved in being homosexual. Secondly, homosexual persons are as varied as heterosexual persons. There is no uniformity in the lives they lead. Some are career-driven and super-achievers; others know how to savour life. Some care for the environment; others are always buying the latest model of techno-wizardry and junking the old. Some are promiscuous; others are extremely faithful to their partners. Just like heterosexual persons.
This term, "homosexual lifestyle choice", is an invention of people who are anti-gay. They use this term to paint a false picture of supposed hedonism, and then go blasting at it.
Do not use this term. It is derogatory. Actually, it is bad enough that it is meaningless.
Perhaps the media gives this impression. When heterosexual men are caught in compromising situations with the opposite sex, it is hardly newsworthy (unless the person is famous). But since homosexual exposés are considered more salacious and more newsworthy, based on the "moralism" of some societies, they tend to be highlighted. This bias in reporting may give the impression that homosexual men are more obsessed with sex, or that their behaviour is more shocking.
On an individual basis, no more, no less than heterosexual persons. AIDS is not a disease for homosexual persons. AIDS is a disease spread mainly through sex, any kind of sex that is unprotected. Another common route of transmission is through intravenous drug use, but this is not at all related to sex.
In Singapore, the majority of HIV infections occur via heterosexual sex. Lesbians are considered one of the groups with the lowest risk factors.
Every one, whatever his sexual orientation, male or female, should be aware of the risk, and the appropriate protective measures, like using a condom. Just because a person engages in homosexual relationships does not mean he is necessarily at greater risk.
In Singapore, the homosexual act between males is a criminal offence. Even if it takes place between two consenting adults in the privacy of the home, the law considers it an offence. Government ministers however have said that the law will not be applied to consenting adults in private, and data from court cases indicate this policy is in effect.
The law probably does not apply to females, though as far as I know, no case has yet come up to test it. This means lesbian sex is most probably legal.
Most Asian countries do not have laws against homosexual sex. They only ones that do are ex-British colonies which inherited the laws from Victorian England.
What we have is a terribly stupid law. It is in breach of the UN Human Rights Committee's ruling that discrimination on the ground of sexual orientation is a violation of human rights. Although the Singapore government no longer enforces the law actively, the continued existence of the law reinforces prejudice and discrimination in this country, causing emotional damage (and possibly suicide) to your friends and your loved ones.
Most of the time, you can't. Homosexual persons are normal persons. They look normal, they act quite indistinguishably from heterosexual persons. This is so for a simple reason: they are normal. Just as a left-handed person is, for all practical purposes, quite a normal person.
The question should be why do you want to be able to tell whether a person is homosexual or not? I hope it is not to poke your nose into others' private affairs. I hope it is not to justify any discriminatory action (like sacking him from his job).
There is no simple answer to this, but most researchers today are of the consensus, based primarily on surveys done in the West, that among adult males it is somewhere in the region of 6-7%. There is an additional 6% or so who are bisexual (i.e. people who are attracted sometimes to the same sex, sometimes to the opposite sex).
Among adult females, the percentages are lower. Somewhere in the region of 3-4% homosexual, and perhaps a similar number bisexual.
There is no indication so far that these percentages vary by much from one country to another.
The question of percentages is complicated because of the many ways one can use to define homosexuality and bisexuality. What if a person feels homosexual but doesn't engage in homosexual acts? What if a person feels heterosexual, but engages in homosexual acts? What if a person is in a stable homosexual relationship, but occasionally has sex with the opposite sex?
Still, using the above percentages, as a rule of thumb then, it means that out of every fifteen male persons you know, about one would be homosexual and one bisexual. 15 is not a large set. How many male colleagues do you have in your office? In your class?
Chances are that you won't be able to figure out which of them are homosexual or bisexual. This only goes to show how normal they are.
Asian societies have always had homosexual persons in their midst. Historical records indicate so. For example, classical Chinese literature contain numerous references to same-sex love, expressed in non-derogatory terms. Chinese imperial records through the ages have witnessed emperors and high officials with homosexual love affairs, as have Moghul records from India.
There are some people who hold the mistaken idea that homosexuality was one of those "degenerate practices" imported from the West. They are wrong. It's not degenerate, and it's not Western.
Homophobia is defined as a "fear of homosexuality or homosexual persons". Quite often, though, it is used in the sense of "hatred of homosexuality or homosexual persons".
Like other phobias, e.g. hydrophobia (fear of water) or agoraphobia (fear of venturing into public spaces), homophobia is essentially irrational. It is not founded on clear logic or reason.
Unfortunately, some people act out their homophobia, in the form of gay-bashing, in the form of emotional rejection and even violent treatment of family members who are homosexual. When in positions of authority, they enact laws or preach sermons that do injustice to millions of homosexual persons around the world.
Today's topic, we're gonna talk all about the spooky Halloween and why do some country, especially people living in the states or in the Europe celebrate Halloween.....
Halloween's origins date back to the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain (pronounced sow-in).
The Celts, who lived 2,000 years ago in the area that is now Ireland, the United Kingdom, and northern France, celebrated their new year on November 1. This day marked the end of summer and the harvest and the beginning of the dark, cold winter, a time of year that was often associated with human death. Celts believed that on the night before the new year, the boundary between the worlds of the living and the dead became blurred. On the night of October 31, they celebrated Samhain, when it was believed that the ghosts of the dead returned to earth. In addition to causing trouble and damaging crops, Celts thought that the presence of the otherworldly spirits made it easier for the Druids, or Celtic priests, to make predictions about the future. For a people entirely dependent on the volatile natural world, these prophecies were an important source of comfort and direction during the long, dark winter.
To commemorate the event, Druids built huge sacred bonfires, where the people gathered to burn crops and animals as sacrifices to the Celtic deities.
During the celebration, the Celts wore costumes, typically consisting of animal heads and skins, and attempted to tell each other's fortunes. When the celebration was over, they re-lit their hearth fires, which they had extinguished earlier that evening, from the sacred bonfire to help protect them during the coming winter.
By A.D. 43, Romans had conquered the majority of Celtic territory. In the course of the four hundred years that they ruled the Celtic lands, two festivals of Roman origin were combined with the traditional Celtic celebration of Samhain.
The first was Feralia, a day in late October when the Romans traditionally commemorated the passing of the dead. The second was a day to honor Pomona, the Roman goddess of fruit and trees. The symbol of Pomona is the apple and the incorporation of this celebration into Samhain probably explains the tradition of "bobbing" for apples that is practiced today on Halloween.
By the 800s, the influence of Christianity had spread into Celtic lands. In the seventh century, Pope Boniface IV designated November 1 All Saints' Day, a time to honor saints and martyrs. It is widely believed today that the pope was attempting to replace the Celtic festival of the dead with a related, but church-sanctioned holiday. The celebration was also called All-hallows or All-hallowmas (from Middle English Alholowmesse meaning All Saints' Day) and the night before it, the night of Samhain, began to be called All-hallows Eve and, eventually, Halloween. Even later, in A.D. 1000, the church would make November 2 All Souls' Day, a day to honor the dead. It was celebrated similarly to Samhain, with big bonfires, parades, and dressing up in costumes as saints, angels, and devils. Together, the three celebrations, the eve of All Saints', All Saints', and All Souls', were called Hallowmas.....
SO now you knw why do people celebrate halloween.... ARE you going to celebrate too??? well AyiE here gonna join the fun this November 2.... Join him at st james with ur FABULOUS costume on the FABULOUS HALLOWEEN night!
AyiE is currently feeling depressed and in no mood to do almost anything, Up for now, the only thing that ayie gonna do is club and get drunk and to forget everything that have happen to AyiE. AyiE thinks tat it is time for AyiE to be his "OLD" AyiE.
I am what i am...
And if any of you bitches trying luck to offend the upcoming AyiE....
AyiE will make sure that your MOTHER FUCKING life will be a LIVING nightmare....
Ok...been a long time since i last update.... or izzit? hmmm... well u see.... the otherday... my dad brought home a HUGE fish! he said to me "SON... i wan u to make good use of this fish..." haha so the drama script siark... but oh well.. i did use the fish yesterday! lol... i cook erm... fish and chips with sweet and sour sauce on rice! hmmmm... sound yummy... well... SUPRISINGLY... it is! well... here's the pic of the fish....
Well.... this is the fish tat my dad brought home... have no idea wats the name.. but i guess its grapu...hmmmm..... took me almost HOURS to clean up the scale of this fish.... am sooo NOOB la in cutting fish... lol..... after that... fillet it..... hmmm it look like salmon.. lol... after that.. dip it in flour with some other ingredient and... Voila! hahaaz... it is a simple dish la... hahahaz.. no need to make a big hoo haa abt it! but still! i cook it! and my sis say its GREAT! wheeeeeeeeee~
This story is based on a true life story about a boy struggling with his forbidden love. Rated R21 by MDA.
A short film directed by Justin Kan and produced by Dex Tan. Starring Lawrence Wong, Edric Hsu, Candice De Rosario, Sun Yi, Roy Nerng, Liting, Aishah and Renee Chua. Music by Kevin Fok and Kenny Ong.
Thursday just wasnt my good day.... **on 04/09/2008 @ 1635hrs, i was walking home from yew tee shopping centre and i did not notice anything amiss. However, while i was walking on the 2nd level multi-storey carpark on the way back home, i was being pushed to the staircase landing from the rear by 2 unknown male malay subjects wearing helmets with tinted visors. When i fell down to the ground, both subject start to kick me repeatedly and one of the subject took out a sharp object believed to be a pen knife and slash onto me. i then tried to defend my self using my arms. My police Warrant card and 11B were taken away but my cash and mobile phone was left untouched. Both of them fled towards the carpark area to unknown direction. Im kinda worried for my family safety too cause my 11B have my full address... I need help but dunno who to seek from... any suggestion... Picture of my arm been slashed.... Lucky it was just a pen knife... not a Parang... im suprised... even on fasting month... there are still ppl with evil intention.....
Wow... the next post im about to post is Exclusive... The fact and Shocking!, this article have been adapted from The Fabulous Rainbow Lifestyle.....
Homophobia is real and can sometimes be fatal.
"I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian." "I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman." "I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights." "We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time." "I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room." "I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me." "I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again." "I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear." "We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men." "I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me." "I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman." "I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman." "I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male." "I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men." "I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that." "I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual." "I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn't have to always deal with society hating me." "I am the man who stopped attending place of worship, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind." "I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love."
What you have read above are some of the major problem that PLU are facing every single mins, hours, days, weeks, months, years and so for... We urge the community to be open minded and treat the minors equally. afterall we are humans and we do have feelings.....
This article is brought to you by i-blog08 and adapted from
The names of the three wise monkeys? They are: Mizaru (See no evil), Mikazaru (Hear no evil), and Mazaru (Speak no evil). ---------------------
An atomic clock is accurate to within 1 second in 1,7 million years.
Thomas Cook, the world's first travel agency in the world, was founded in 1850.
A fathom is 1,8 metres (6 feet).
There are more TV sets in the US than there are people in the UK.
Before the year 1000, the word "she" did not exist in the English language. The singular female reference was the word "heo", which also was the plural of all genders. The word "she" appeared only in the 12th century, about 400 years after English began to take form. "She" probably derived from the old english feminine "seo", the Viking word for feminine reference.
There are no letters assigned to the numbers 1 and 0 on a phone keypad. These numbers remain unassigned because they are so-called "flag" numbers, kept for special purposes such as emergency or operator services.
After the French revolution of 1789 selling sour wine was considered against national interest and the merchant was promptly executed.
For 3000 years, until 1883, hemp was the world's largest agricultural crop, from which the majority of fabric, soap, paper, medicines, and oils were produced.
George Washington and Thomas Jefferson both grew hemp. Ben Franklin owned a mill that made hemp paper. The US Declaration of Independence was written on hemp paper.
The word malaria comes from the words mal and aria, which means bad air. This derives from the old days when it was thought that all diseases are caused by bad, or dirty air.
The names of all the continents end with the letter they start with.
On every continent there is a city called Rome.
The oldest inhabited city is Damascus, Syria.
The first city in the world to have a population of more than one million was Rome
The most populated city in the world - when major urban areas are included - is Tokyo, with 30 million residents.
Tokyo was once known as Edo.
The pin that holds a hinge together is called a pintle.
The Vatican is the world's smallest country, at 0,44 square km (0,16 square miles).
The US flag displays 13 stripes - for the original 13 states.
To most Americans, the orient is China, Japan, Korea and Vietnam; to Europeans it is the area of India and Pakistan.
The words "electronic mail" might sound new but was introduced 30 years ago. Queen Elizabeth of Britain sent her first email in 1976.
Some 190 billion emails are sent daily - more than 2 million per second - by 1,2 billion email senders. About 70% (133 billion emails) are spam and viruses. There are about 1,4 billion registered email addresses.
Eskimos use refrigerators to keep food from freezing.
MasterCard was originally called MasterCharge.
Neil Armstrong stepped on the moon with his left foot first.
The sentence "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter of the alphabet.
Lightning strikes men about seven times more often than it does women.
Women make up 49% of the world population.
About 50% of Americans live within 50 miles of their birthplace. This is called propinquity.
The pleasant feeling of eating chocolate is caused by a chemical called anadamide, a neurotransmitter which also is produced naturally in the brain.
From the Middle Ages until the 18th century the local barber's duties included dentistry, blood letting, minor operations and bone-setting. The barber's striped red pole originates from when patients would grip the pole during an operation.
The US nickname Uncle Sam was derived from Uncle Sam Wilson, a meat inspector in Troy, New York.
The living does not outnumber the dead: since the creation about 60 billion people have died.
The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
Midday refers to the moment the sun crosses the local meridian.
Due to earth's gravity it is impossible for mountains to be higher than 15,000 metres.
It is not true that the Great Wall of China is the only man-made structure that can be viewed from space - many man-made objects, including the Dutch polders, can be viewed from space.
True Fact, Question and Answer about Homosexuallity brought to you by yawningbread.org. If you have recently discovered your son, daughter, brother, sister or friend to be homosexual, we hope the following answers are helpful to you in some way.
Homosexuality is the tendency wherein the persons you find sexually attractive happen to be persons of the same sex as yourself.
Bear in mind however, that a homosexual person does not find all others of the same sex attractive. Only a few. After all, a heterosexual person does not find all opposite sex persons attractive either. But a homosexual person finds that all the people he is ever attracted to, happen to be of the same sex, just as a heterosexual person finds that all the people he is ever attracted to, happen to be of the opposite sex.
Sexual attraction goes hand in hand with a desire for a relationship and love. Homosexual persons yearn for love and a relationship with persons they are attracted to. Other than the fact that the persons they are attracted to happen to be of the same sex, the qualities in their relationships are no different than in heterosexual relationships, e.g. emotional commitment, mutual support and a desire for permanence. This can be seen from the strong desire in many countries to have laws changed to recognise same-sex marriages.
This question is a misguided question. When we use the word "think", we imply that it is not true, and that someone is misleading himself. Homosexual persons do not "think" they are homosexual. They know they are homosexual.
They know this because they can recognise their own feelings. They do not feel sexually attracted to people of the opposite sex. Every time they have a crush, it's with a person of the same sex. They do not experience similar feelings for persons of the opposite sex.
Related to this question is another, "Why do some people choose to be homosexual?"
This question is even more misguided. No homosexual person ever chooses to be homosexual. He simply discovers from his own feelings that he is. He has never made that "choice" in life, and as we will discuss below, he cannot "unchoose" it.
It is now widely accepted by scientific, psychiatric and medical professionals that homosexual orientation is innate, and fundamental to a some persons' nature. It is increasingly accepted that homosexual orientation is latent in the child, and possibly even in the foetus. It is not something that people change into during their teenage or adult years as a result of certain "bad influences". Certainly it is never something that people deliberately or consciously choose to become.
It is also widely accepted by thinking people that homosexuality is normal variation among humans. Just as some people are by nature left-handed, others are musically talented or extrovert, so some people are homosexual.
The main answer right now is that we don't know the precise reasons, though it is a field of study that is receiving more and more unbiased attention. Studies conducted so far point increasingly to a substantial biological basis for homosexuality, but environmental influences in early childhood may be a factor too (not the sole cause).
(a) Genetic causes?
There is increasing evidence that it may be partly genetic. For example, it is found that when one son is gay, his brothers have a higher chance of being homosexual too. A homosexual identical twin (who shares the same genes with his twin) has the highest likelihood of having a homosexual brother.
Other articles in Yawning Bread provide more information on recent scientific discoveries. Use the search function to locate them.
(b) Other biological causes?
There is also increasing evidence of hormonal factors acting on the foetus. There is some tentative evidence that the brain structure in homosexual persons is different from heterosexual persons, and that this difference in brain structure arose from brain development in foetal life.
The most likely cause for differences in brain development is that of hormonal balance while in the womb. There is evidence that this hormonal balance of the foetus would have been affected by the hormonal balance of the pregnant mother.
Other articles in Yawning Bread provide more information on recent scientific discoveries. Use the search function to locate them.
(c) Upbringing?
On the other hand, evidence for upbringing as a factor is non-existent, despite a century of searching by people attached to this idea. The first problem is that "upbringing" is a very vague and general term. When I press my questioners to be more specific, they tend to bring up two old ideas which I will deal with below:
(d) Distant father, domineering mother?
This is an old idea that has no credible research supporting it. It is conjecture that comes from the idea that homosexual males are somehow feminised by an overdominant mother, while the father as the male role model is absent.
The problem with this conjecture is that it assumes that homosexual males are feminised. This is contradicted by the simple observation that the vast majority of homosexual males are as masculine as heterosexual males.
People who have made a serious study of homosexuality generally consider this notion to be without basis.
(e) Being molested when young?
This is another old idea without any credible data.
It comes from the mistaken assumption that people are innately heterosexual, but are "converted" to homosexuality through bad experiences, or through exposure to other homosexual persons during their formative years.
It is contradicted by the increasing evidence of a biological basis for homosexuality.
It is also contradicted by the fact that the vast majority of homosexual persons do not have any experiences of being molested, just like the vast majority of heterosexual persons.
Of the unfortunate few who have been molested by others of the same sex, some have turned out to be homosexual, while others have turned out to be heterosexual. Of those who have been molested by people of the opposite sex, some have turned out to be homosexual too, but others heterosexual. No observable pattern has ever been shown.
(f) Mixing around with other homosexual people?
A person does not become homosexual because he has homosexual friends. Likewise, a homosexual person will not turn heterosexual even when he mixes with heterosexual persons. Sexual orientation, either way, is pretty much fixed in any particular person.
Even children and teenagers do not turn homosexual just because they mix with homosexual adults. After all, the great majority of adults that children mix with are heterosexual. Is it logical that just because they get to know one, or even more than one, adult who is homosexual, it will forever change the child's future sexuality?
Again, a misguided question. No one "becomes" homosexual. Most homosexual persons report that they discover they are homosexual sometime during their teenage years. A smaller number report that they have known they were different from their peers since around 9 or 10, though at that age, they couldn't fully comprehend or put a name to that difference.
On the other hand, there are homosexual persons who repress their homosexuality for years. Mostly it is due to social pressure to conform, and to the lack of information in the society in which they live. They may get married and have children. But then at some point in their lives, they realise that they have never really felt anything for the opposite sex, while their feelings for the same sex never goes away. At that point in their lives, they finally recognise their own homosexuality.
To outsiders it would look like he suddenly "turned" homosexual. In fact, he has always been homosexual, only that he has denied it all this while.
Many homosexuals, wanting to escape social pressure, have tried. There has been no properly documented case of anyone succeeding.
Yes, there are documented cases of people who have psyched themselves into denial (almost always, these examples have come from the fundamentalist Christian groups), but there is no documented case of a person changing his feelings of attraction. Mental health professionals today consider these attempts (often called 'reparative therapy') by cult-like groups to change orientation to be abuse and warn of damage to the mental health of participants.
Sexual orientation is too fundamental in our nature to be changed. You cannot change homosexuals into heterosexuals. Nor vice versa.
But a few homosexual persons can benefit from counselling and professional help. These are the ones who, feeling the burden of societal pressure, get very depressed, and maybe even reach the point of suicide. Professionals can help them see their situation in a more positive light, and improve their self-esteem.
However, the vast majority of homosexual persons do not need professional help. They are well-adjusted, self-confident people. Psychologically, they cope quite well despite prejudice and discrimination from society.
Why do you want to persuade him to mix more with the opposite sex? Are you hoping that he will turn heterosexual? As I said above, sexual orientation can't be changed.
By trying to "persuade" homosexual persons to do this or do that, you are showing disrespect to a person's right to choose his friends freely. How would you like to have others pressure you to do things that don't interest you? You'd see that as an unwarranted imposition.
The reason society often has this stereotype is because most homosexual men and women are indistinguishable from heterosexual persons. Only the tiny minority who happen to be effeminate or tomboyish, are visible. So society has taken the visible tip of the iceberg and wrongly extended the stereotype to all.
By the way, some effeminate men are heterosexual. Some tomboyish women are heterosexual.
In any case, what is wrong with having feminine or masculine mannerisms? In themselves, there is nothing wrong, is there? What may be the problem is the disapproval of other (unenlightened) people around. But the problem should be fixed at source, which is to enlighten those people rather than infringe on the self-autonomy of gays and lesbians with feminine/masculine mannerisms and outlook.
People who wish to go for sex change are transsexuals, not homosexuals. Transsexuals identify with a gender that is opposite to their bodies. For example, someone could be anatomically male, but feel very much a woman inside. Quite often transsexuals prefer to cross-dress, in keeping with the image they have of themselves.
Homosexual males consider themselves male, the same way as heterosexual males. They do not feel female at all. Homosexual females (i.e. lesbians), likewise consider themselves female. There is no conflict between their anatomical self and their sense of gender.
Generally, homosexual persons wish to ensure that those who are important to them have a clear and truthful idea of who they are. It may take them a long time and a lot of worrying to reach this point. But ultimately, they find that their sense of self-respect is such that they do not wish to live a lie any further.
For a homosexual person to tell others about his sexual orientation is a huge risk. He risks rejection and emotional chaos. If he has chosen to tell you, it is a sign that you are important to him. It is a long-standing truism that we are honest with those we love. You should feel honoured by his choice and you should feel a sense of responsibility to stand by him.
The truth does not make him or her any less your son, daughter, brother, sister or friend. He is still the same person as before, except that now he has given you a special gift, the gift of privileged honesty.
When he has reached this point, far from feeling guilt or shame, which is what society tends to put into homosexual persons, he has overcome it, and restored his self-respect. He has seen his own value as a person; he no longer subjugates himself to the ignorance and prejudice around him. That act of telling you is an act of liberation.
There are a few first-hand coming-out stories in Yawning Bread. Use the search function to locate them.
Make an effort to understand what it means to be homosexual. Do a bit of clear thinking and examine any pre-conceived notions you may have. Do not be judgmental. You yourself would not want others to be judgmental around you. Continue to see him as a person, a person you've long known.
Find some way to indicate that you are broadminded. Find some way to reassure him that the question of rejection does not arise. If it is true that it may take a while for you to get used to the idea, say so, be honest yourself. But if you believe that your love and capacity for friendship is deep enough to take the news in stride, then say that too, and work at it.
The worst thing you can do is to issue ultimatums. You should never demand that he change, or repent. You should never make your love and friendship conditional upon others living their lives in accordance with your demands.
To demand that he change is asking for the impossible. He can never comply. He will simply feel cut off from you. You risk driving him to despair and suicide.
The second worst thing you can do is to say "I cannot accept it". This response is not constructive. It builds brick walls against understanding and communication. He is not asking you for permission or acceptance. He is telling you the truth about himself. Imagine that you're a 43-year-old woman. When an occasion calls for it, you tell your friend, truthfully, "I am a 43-year-old woman." But the response you get is "I cannot accept it. You must change!" Wouldn't you consider that a moronic and unhelpful answer?
Firstly, there is no choice involved in being homosexual. Secondly, homosexual persons are as varied as heterosexual persons. There is no uniformity in the lives they lead. Some are career-driven and super-achievers; others know how to savour life. Some care for the environment; others are always buying the latest model of techno-wizardry and junking the old. Some are promiscuous; others are extremely faithful to their partners. Just like heterosexual persons.
This term, "homosexual lifestyle choice", is an invention of people who are anti-gay. They use this term to paint a false picture of supposed hedonism, and then go blasting at it.
Do not use this term. It is derogatory. Actually, it is bad enough that it is meaningless.
Perhaps the media gives this impression. When heterosexual men are caught in compromising situations with the opposite sex, it is hardly newsworthy (unless the person is famous). But since homosexual exposés are considered more salacious and more newsworthy, based on the "moralism" of some societies, they tend to be highlighted. This bias in reporting may give the impression that homosexual men are more obsessed with sex, or that their behaviour is more shocking.
On an individual basis, no more, no less than heterosexual persons. AIDS is not a disease for homosexual persons. AIDS is a disease spread mainly through sex, any kind of sex that is unprotected. Another common route of transmission is through intravenous drug use, but this is not at all related to sex.
In Singapore, the majority of HIV infections occur via heterosexual sex. Lesbians are considered one of the groups with the lowest risk factors.
Every one, whatever his sexual orientation, male or female, should be aware of the risk, and the appropriate protective measures, like using a condom. Just because a person engages in homosexual relationships does not mean he is necessarily at greater risk.
In Singapore, the homosexual act between males is a criminal offence. Even if it takes place between two consenting adults in the privacy of the home, the law considers it an offence. Government ministers however have said that the law will not be applied to consenting adults in private, and data from court cases indicate this policy is in effect.
The law probably does not apply to females, though as far as I know, no case has yet come up to test it. This means lesbian sex is most probably legal.
Most Asian countries do not have laws against homosexual sex. They only ones that do are ex-British colonies which inherited the laws from Victorian England.
What we have is a terribly stupid law. It is in breach of the UN Human Rights Committee's ruling that discrimination on the ground of sexual orientation is a violation of human rights. Although the Singapore government no longer enforces the law actively, the continued existence of the law reinforces prejudice and discrimination in this country, causing emotional damage (and possibly suicide) to your friends and your loved ones.
Most of the time, you can't. Homosexual persons are normal persons. They look normal, they act quite indistinguishably from heterosexual persons. This is so for a simple reason: they are normal. Just as a left-handed person is, for all practical purposes, quite a normal person.
The question should be why do you want to be able to tell whether a person is homosexual or not? I hope it is not to poke your nose into others' private affairs. I hope it is not to justify any discriminatory action (like sacking him from his job).
There is no simple answer to this, but most researchers today are of the consensus, based primarily on surveys done in the West, that among adult males it is somewhere in the region of 6-7%. There is an additional 6% or so who are bisexual (i.e. people who are attracted sometimes to the same sex, sometimes to the opposite sex).
Among adult females, the percentages are lower. Somewhere in the region of 3-4% homosexual, and perhaps a similar number bisexual.
There is no indication so far that these percentages vary by much from one country to another.
The question of percentages is complicated because of the many ways one can use to define homosexuality and bisexuality. What if a person feels homosexual but doesn't engage in homosexual acts? What if a person feels heterosexual, but engages in homosexual acts? What if a person is in a stable homosexual relationship, but occasionally has sex with the opposite sex?
Still, using the above percentages, as a rule of thumb then, it means that out of every fifteen male persons you know, about one would be homosexual and one bisexual. 15 is not a large set. How many male colleagues do you have in your office? In your class?
Chances are that you won't be able to figure out which of them are homosexual or bisexual. This only goes to show how normal they are.
Asian societies have always had homosexual persons in their midst. Historical records indicate so. For example, classical Chinese literature contain numerous references to same-sex love, expressed in non-derogatory terms. Chinese imperial records through the ages have witnessed emperors and high officials with homosexual love affairs, as have Moghul records from India.
There are some people who hold the mistaken idea that homosexuality was one of those "degenerate practices" imported from the West. They are wrong. It's not degenerate, and it's not Western.
Homophobia is defined as a "fear of homosexuality or homosexual persons". Quite often, though, it is used in the sense of "hatred of homosexuality or homosexual persons".
Like other phobias, e.g. hydrophobia (fear of water) or agoraphobia (fear of venturing into public spaces), homophobia is essentially irrational. It is not founded on clear logic or reason.
Unfortunately, some people act out their homophobia, in the form of gay-bashing, in the form of emotional rejection and even violent treatment of family members who are homosexual. When in positions of authority, they enact laws or preach sermons that do injustice to millions of homosexual persons around the world.
There are some articles in Yawning Bread that discuss the origins of homophobia. Use the search function to locate them.
