OK... am really damn bored.. so i decided to post an article tat have been publish on trevvy.com (an online gay committee web portal)
Seriously i HATE discreet gays... or those gay ppl who wont want any other to knw that their gay... if so... then y be??? here's an article on discreet gays....
Author: Rong.
The closeted (or shall we say half–closeted) gay man is a breed of homosexuals that has recently come out of the closet (err, ok not really) but decided not to be open about his sexuality whether it's because he works in a homophobic industry, he actually has a wife and kids back home or simply because of internalized homophobia. He prides himself for winning the Oscars for ‘straight acting’ and prefers to use the term ‘discreet’ as if all other gay men who do not behave this way are screaming queens.
Don't get me wrong here. Many such gay men are not ashamed about their sexuality, like others who are more open about their sexuality but rather they harbour fears of being outed unnecessarily. The problem arise if such fears border along the line of paranoia and this can really get to the partners whom they are dating.
His profile will never have a photograph with his head attached (I have had interesting private messages from people on Trevvy.com with chest, asses and crotches in their dockets—lending credence to the phrase ‘meat market’). Most of the time, the closeted gay who maintains a profile is more interested in getting laid than trying to nap a date. The first few questions he'll ask are “Are you straight acting or sissy?” His mantra would be “not interested in sissy or effeminate guys”.
Super discreet about his identity, you would think he is from ISD and if he is successfully in sustaining your interest despite the lack of a face pic, it would probably take months before he reveals it and even then it is likely to be either teeny–tiny or with a big group of people where unless he tells you which is him, you are searching blindly to the closest possible match to his stats.
I am comfortable about my sexuality and my level of masculinity, its not like I'll tell everyone that I prefer sausages to oysters, wear outlandish outfits that do all the screaming for me or behave like a giggling school girl on the street. But because I am out so that would make me a possible liability to the closet gay I am a high risk factor (geez I sound like a bomb).
Highly paranoid about being outed, going out on dates with him is like having a CCTV tagging along. Everything and anything comes under his intense scrutiny.
If you manage to clear his background check and proceed to that elusive first date, he'll probably lay down the following ground rules:
Places to date — a popular gay hangout is a big no–no. Even in ‘safe’ venues Mr Discreet would rather you keep at least half a metre apart and would suddenly pretend not to know you whenever he bumps into someone from work. Needless to say he would not be caught dead at Powerhouse on Sunday.
Dresscode — you must not wear any t–shirt that has cheeky slogans that even suggest anything remotely gay. This automatically excludes skin–tight tank tops or anything tight or multi–colored in anyway. And absolutely no man–bags permitted. You should wear basic colors like black, white, etc. and a possible outfit is polo top and jeans. In other words think “straight man” and dress to match, but correct me if I am wrong but wasn't it the rage for gays some time back?
Rules of engagement — absolutely no effeminate behavior such as having a broken wrist, sashay, no standing with one hip sticking out, when speaking on gay topics must use coded language and keep your volume to a mere whisper, keep your pinky finger in check and no rolling of the eye balls.
Warning: Expect a disappearing act when you bump into your friends who do not observe the rules above.
I had my fair share of dating varying Mr Discreet of varying degree and I could probably try to understand or even accommodate but what I find disappointing about some closeted gay men is that their deep intolerance for the more effeminate people in our community, I have witness how they consider those who are “Sissy” as a disgrace to the community because as men we have to behave like (straight) men.
They would start “sissy bashing” and feel manlier after a bout putting someone down, they consider the gay community polluted with such feminine guys and that they are a group above and beyond others.
I finally came to the realization that if you got to pretend to be someone else on the first date then be prepared to act until you get a stroke. For me to control myself to this extent (just for any guy) would be insane. It is like flexing my muscles to look buff; I would sooner suffer from a cardiac arrest before the night is over.....signing off
AyiE
