It has been a worst week of my life... everything happen so fast and harsh... i cant really take the presure... its no wonder the thought of suicide is ALWAYS in my mind. First and foremost i just lost a coy mate who have been showing his care and concern to me when i was on light duty, never failed to let me smile, a very joyful guy. but on 15 of may 2008, he left us without saying goodbye, tears actually drip down my face upon hearing the news but i have no choice but to hide it from my squadmate. to Allahyarham Roslan bin saharo, i promise you that we wont forget u.... ur name and ur kindness have been engraved in our hearts.

After hearing the news, i receive another news that my adk angkat patch up with the bitch who still owes me my $50 and yet to return. feeling sad and then pissed off...

then on friday night, Kid confess that he is attached to chucky. the guy who i hated the most, the guy who have cheated my feelings... no wonder he is nt into me for he have fallen for my adk kid... upon hearing the news... am like one chipmunk who have lost all the nuts that have been saving for winter hybernation period... so pissed off that i actuall slam my F700 phone hard on the table!....

i sooo hate my life seriously... and now my back hurts alot! i cant really walk! i prevent my self from getting MC cause my OC wanted to send me for recourse... and NO i dun want... am actually pretty worried cause i cannot take PDT.... for the fact tat i am soo into marshall arts, but am light duty so they dun allow me to participate EVEN if i insist.

i seriously wanted to do my best in SPF but suddenly all my sickness is back, hyperventilate la, rashes la adominal cramp la.... and now suspect of livercancer... wat the hell... i did told my OC abt it but it seems that she doesnt care and she think tat i'm like chao keng (ayam sakit). its not like as if i want this to happen... but overall my oc is good la.. very motherly....

anyway i gotta go now.. my back is like killing me.. cant really seat on the chair for so long... cant really stand and walk.... so troublesome rite.... i wud rather seat on a wheelchair siark.. gtg..

signing off
AyiE....